Out the other Side

When you are in the thick of something, sometimes it's hard to see the other side and know that you will be okay. Thats where I was Thursday evening.....after a really hard night of clogged ducts and again no nursing I woke up Thursday morning with the full intent of talking to the Lactation Consultant at the peds office and see what she recommended for formula and how to go about it. I was going to pump 2 times during the day and supplement with formula as long as my supply in the freezer would last and my supply daily would last until she was a year and switch her to whole milk.

I had an even rougher day of pumping, massaging and kneeding out those clogs while I worked my brand new job in the office! I came home after checking out Kellymom, Le Leche League forums and was determined one more shot at it - since the LC never called me back.

After dinner of some yummy veggies for Liv I took her into the bedroom and laid down with her on the bed skin to skin like we used to do when she was a newborn. I didn't force her to nurse, in fact I didn't offer it at all, I just laid her head near my breast and she and I took a 20 minute snooze. It was wonderful. It was bath night, so I got both girls in the tub an when It was Liv's turn to get out of the tub I took her instead of our usual routine of my husband taking her. I went into the bedroom again and laid down with her skin to skin again. this time I squirted some milk into her mouth. She tried to nibble a little but actually just started nursing. No pushing or anything. It was glorious! I got her to nurse on both sides which relieved my clogged ducts in a matter of 20 minutes!!

I put her to bed and she slept until around 1am, I nursed her in our spot in her room and she again tried to bite but I took her off and squirted milk into her mouth and it was like she remembered "Oh yeah this is what I am supposed to be doing" and nursed again. She slept until 5:45 and nursed again.

This evening after great pumpings at work, I gave her sophie to chew on while I got ready to nurse her and she chewed on sophie a bit and then nursed beautifully. No biting, nothing. back to our old routine and I am in love all over again!

Like I said in the beginning so many people said it was a phase and clearly she wasn't ready to wean - not that I really thought she was. Clearly I wasn't ready to wean her either....so I am glad I stuck it out and knowing this will help me if it happens when the next set of teeth come in!

Thanks for all those that helped me, listened to me and supported me. I truly could not have done this without you. That's what mom's and friends are for!!

On Strike

I didn't think it could happen but my 9 month old is on strike. You may be asking yourself on strike from what?? The only thing my 9 month old really has control over in her life right now is her eating. Yep that's right she is on strike with nursing. I have heard of it but in the 21 almost 22 months I nursed her sister Gabby and in the 9 months so far that I have nursed Olivia it's never come up until now that is.

Things in our life started to go a little crazy last Thursday. Liv wasn't feeling well I thought she was warm, but the thermometer told me not so much. So I sent her off to school. around 12 or so they called me and said she wasn't feeling well, and had a 102.7 fever. EEK! So off I went. We had a doctors appointment for her 9 month check up the next morning so I wasn't worried. 2 days later fast forward to Saturday and her fever broke over night and she was doing fine. Saturday evening Gabby got sick with the same thing. They decided to trade off getting up in the middle of the night and Mike and I were up every hour it seemed like that night. It was a rought night. Liv was still nursing just fine.

Sunday they were both a bit clingy but doing great, Liv was obviously teething as she was trying to bit everything, the dog, me, her toys, her sister! You name it, she would bite it! We would sternly but nicely tell her no bite - I even started doing the sign for no bite. She would just look at us and giggle.

Fast forward to Monday evening, I get home from work and I go to nurse Olivia. She bites me not once, not twice but three times. Apparently I am a sucker for punishment. She arched her back and refused to eat. I might have scared her a bit since I may or may not have screamed out. It hurt, babies have teeth like puppies, they aren't just teeth, they are razor sharp fangs it seems and it hurts!

I figured okay, she is teething, she did this last time to me and we moved on when she really needed/wanted to eat. At bed time I thought forsure she would eat. No such luck. Fast forward to Wednesday and we haven't nursed since 4am on Monday morning. She has been getting bottles from me, Mike and at school. I have tried every time to nurse her and she either bites me or arches her back, screams her head off and refuses to even try to nurse.

This deeply saddens me more than I can even express. I know some people have a real love/hate relationship with nursing, but I truly enjoyed my time with my daughter. It is our time to bond, have that connection. To be honest it's something I can do and only me in my family. I know thats a bit selfish, but I am proud of the fact that I can offer nourishment to my daughter. I pump 2 times a day just so she can have that nutrition she needs (Do not take this as a post against formula - I know and respect that not everyone can nurse, it's not an easy thing to do and for some it just doesn't work).

I had a emotional breakdown Monday night because she kept biting me and while it hurt physically it hurt more emotionally. Only 1 time in my life of nursing have I thought that I might give it up and just do formula. That was week 2 with Gabby, I was having such a hard time, had no idea what I was doing. Since then however I haven't even considered it until yesterday.

I am now pumping 4 to 5 times a day, with little output, I get maybe 3 or 5 ounces at the most each time. I only have about 300 or so ounces stored up, but Liv is eating about 18oz of milk a day. at this rate, if I stopped pumping we could continue with my milk until september 13th or so.

I have a few options.

1. Give up nursing her and see if she goes back to it after her teeth come in. Keep pumping 4 or 5 times a day and pray that my supply stays.

OR

2. Give up nursing her, use the rest of my supply, stop pumping and switch to formula for the last 3 months or so until she can switch to cows milk.

Right now I am actually leaning towards option number 2. It's stressing me out having to pump so much - I give props to all your women out there that exclusively pumped for your little ones - you know who you are. You are better women then I.

The more I stress out this, the more my supply will tank...So if anyone out there that is reading this has ANY thoughts, other options suggestions please, I am all ears.

The things that I have done to help relieve Olivia's teething are as follows
1. Alternated Pain meds from advil to tylenol

2. Tried the numbing gel - didn't work

3. Tried a cold wash cloth - the only thing she WON'T bite

4. Teething oil - somewhat works at least to start with

5. Amber necklace, we just got this, if it doesn't work it still looks adorable! HA!
6. Teething toys, she bites pretty hard on them but it doesn't work at night.

So let me know your thoughts! and if you made it this far Thank You!

Peanut's first gift

Peanut got her (I am calling peanut a girl) first gift tonight. Our dear friends Daryl and Cheri got her Sophie the Giraffe. It's the cutest thing ever. It's a teething toy, plus it has a squeaker in it as well. Which I am sure we will have to train Mac not to touch. Should be interesting :)

It was so nice of them. Thank so much guys! You so didn't need to get Peanut anything.

Also Daryl & Cheri's children were deciding tonight if Peanut was going to be a boy or a girl. It was a split decision. Alaric thought Peanut would be a girl and Eliana thought Peanut was going to be a boy. So we will have to see which one is right :)