The Joys of being a Parent

I realized this morning when it was 4am and I was getting up with the little one how much I am loving being a parent....I love watching her sleep, seeing her smile, seeing her learn all the new things.

She looks at this world in an entirely new way, everything is new to her. When she saw a vehicle in the parking lot moving the other day it was so intriguing to her. To me it was just a vehicle but to her I can't even imagine what she thought it was. She sees the dog moving and it's so enjoyable for her - HUGE smile on her face every time Mac comes into view.

Its been a really rough month for us, but we are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I have my baby girl back!

Some thoughts I was having this morning when I was up with her and tonight when I was putting her to bed.

For every 2am feeding there is the joy of watching her nurse.
For every cry there is a smile that makes it all worth it
For every diaper blow out, pee episode there is the fun of watching her grow.
For every raspberry of pureed food in my face, there is joy of watching her taste new foods.

No matter how tired I am, how exhausted I feel, there is no greater joy in my life than becoming a parent. When I am away from her all I want to do is be with her again. She has completely changed my life for the better. These past six months have been the most challenging and amazing six months of my life and I wouldn't change it for the world!

Gestational Diabetes, Rhogam Shot and an Ultrasound....What an appointment!

Today was my monthly appointment for 28 weeks. I knew it was going to be a long one, but it really tired me out....

Here is the run down of my day
7:30: Making Eggs for breakfast, really wanting some juice, but since I had the test this morning I passed on it
9:20: Drank 10 oz of my LOVELY 50g Sugar Fruit Punch drink. I had to get it down in 5 minutes and at first it wasn't so bad, but by the end I wasn't liking it too much.
9:45: Left for my appointment. I had to drive to the Waconia Clinic.
10:25: Had my vial of blood drawn...shortly after that I found out that my Hemoglobin was good at 12 1/2 (normally it's much lower, so that's good news, no extra iron) but my glucose was a 136....Unfortunately I needed to be 130 or under...which means I will have to have another one - see below
10:45: After sitting for awhile waiting I went to the Ultrasound Room to have my 4th (Yep 4th) Ultrasound of Peanut. Boy she has gotten big. She showed her face, barely...just like last time. The tech that was running it was still learning and while she was quick to notice that she doesn't have a cleft lip (the entire reason we were there) she didn't get a good profile pic or another pic of her face. They did however get her heartbeat  - which was a great 147bpm. and they double checked that she was a girl - yep still a girl :0)

11:20: Went to meet with my Midwife.  It was the normal talk. We will be reviewing the birth plan around 36 weeks. Next appointment she will give me all the information to start working on it, although Mike and I already have started it.
11:35: Got the painful Rhogam Shot. It wasn't too bad, it was a just a little burning...and after that I was finally done and got home around 12. Long morning.

Since I failed the 1 hour Gestation Diabetes test I have to go back next Thursday for a 3 Hour. I have to fast for 8 hours before the test which luckily is in the morning. They take my blood sugar level before it starts after fasting. Then I have to drink a lovely 10oz orange drink which has 100g of sugar in it. Yep you heard that right 100g. Then 1 hour later they take my levels again, I have to wait another hour and then tested again and then one more hour and test again. The crappy part is it's not a finger prick but a full vial of blood drawn out of the arm. I will have to bring a snack for afterward since I won't be able to eat anything until almost noon. If two of the three numbers are high then I will be diagnosed as having Gestational Diabetes and have to monitor my sugar. Which means I will have to cut out the carbs....probably not a good thing that I am known as a Carb Queen.

24 Weeks....Getting Close

This week has been an up and down rollercoaster of emotions. I was certainly feeling the hormones of pregnancy this week, but the good thing is that while Monday and Tuesday were awful days that I came out of it with a new sense of calmness and peace.

So many things on in my life that without pregnancy they would be a lot. I won't go into them all here, but they are changes that I am having to learn how to deal with, between work, and personal stuff it's been crazy.

I want to first say that a very close friend of mine is dealing with a very hard thing and I don't wish this on anyone and I am praying harder than anything that things will work out for her and her family. She means the absolute world to me and I hate to see her hurting....So Love and prayer is going out to her every day. Peanut is even praying for her ;)

Work is getting better - a lot better than last week. I have relaxed about it and I am just letting go. It's a hard lesson for me to do, but I have to do it, if I don't I will bog myself down with doubt and perfectionism way too much. I talked with my manager and she said I am doing a fabulous job, so that's great to hear! Makes me realize how much I push myself versus others. That's something I have learned from my parents to always work hard and have a great work ethic. It's a wonderful lesson, but sometimes a curse at the same time :) But I am still doing a great job and having fun with it now so that helps out so much!

Here is my 24 week picture. The T-shirt I have on is actually our NEW Rainie's Bugs T-Shirt and I am super excited about them!! I tried to get a better one, but Mike wasn't home when I was doing this picture and it was making me look huge when I would take it by myself (Yes I am being vain about this), so you can see the red spot- that's a lady bug. My family, friends and I had T-Shirts made up (Thanks Aurora! For the design and thanks to Embroid Me of EP for printing them) for our Race for the Cure Walk we do every year! I can't wait to get a picture of us all in them. We aren't all going to be together this year with Emily in Australia and Sara is going to Chile and my friend Juli is pregnant and wasn't sure about the walk, but we are still going to have a great time! We have some new team mates. My little cousins David & Rachel and some others so it should be  a great time!!

We also got the furniture for the babies room to our house on Tuesday! I can't wait to get a picture of the room completed and uploaded onto here. Right now the room is a disaster because Mike painted the closet. So Sunday we are moving everything around, trying to find room for what was in the closet we hadn't cleaned out yet and then making the valance with the fabric I got last week and finding curtains and hanging the decals. We are also getting some cubby storage things with fabric bins this weekend so that will be fun!! It's all coming together.

Wish us luck tomorrow, we have our all day childbirth class!!Will write more tomorrow night about it when we get home.

A view at our Little Peanut

Here is a picture of Peanut....at 24 weeks or so....She wasn't cooperating much so this was the best picture we got of her.

I can't wait.....

This is a poem I found that I wrote for our little one before we even started trying....

I Can't Wait

I can't wait to see your little smile

I can't wait to see your cute nose and your little fingers and toes

I can't wait to meet you and hold you in my arms

I can't wait to see you with your father

I can't wait to teach you all that we know

I can't wait to care for you and be there for you

I can't wait to love you!

Gift from Daddy

Mike spent the past week out in DC on a business trip..While he was out there he got Peanut a little present. I think it's adorable. What could be better than a pink monkey with a hoodie :)

And here is the pup checking it out. She will have to learn what are her toys and what are Peanuts. Wish us luck with that one.

1/2 Way there! 20 Weeks

Well I am officially 20 weeks - at least according to my due date. This week has been a rough week, probably the roughest of the entire pregnancy...I haven't been feeling all that great, but not bad - nothing really to complain about at least. Mike has been in DC since last Thursday. We are hoping he can come home tomorrow - so cross your fingers. I am definitely feeling pregnant, especially since we found out that Peanut is a little girl.

We are super excited about it and have started gathering paint samples to pick out the paint color for Peanuts' room. When Mike gets home we should be able to pick it out and go buy the paint next week hopefully. I am hoping week 21 will be better than week 20...I haven't been sleeping great, but I think that's mostly just because of my schedule change this week with Mike being gone and being up so late for the wedding we went to last Saturday.

Mish Mash of Things....

I didn't know what to call this blog post so it will be a bunch of mish mash of things....

• I really wish I could feel Peanut moving....I know that people say once she does start moving I won't be able to sleep, but it would make me feel so much better.
• I am impatient for the next four weeks to go by so that I can see my little girl again on the Ultrasound screen and know that she is okay.
• I had a great weekend with my family - both sides this weekend. Got to see my parents and my in-laws(IL's).
• I got to spend a lot of time with my niece tonight. She is getting so big.
• I miss my hubby! We are crossing our fingers and toes that he will be flying home tomorrow night. At least by Tuesday because his hotel is only booked until Tuesday.
• I am really glad that my little puppy is doing so well with my SIL's & BIL's dog Abby and their little one. This afternoon my IL's brought her over to my SIL's house and Abby and Mac played and played and played in the backyard. Mac is now sleeping on the couch exhausted. She did really well in their house with Alyssa on the floor and stuff and she only barked a few times when Leah was holding Alyssa. She is going to do really well with Peanut I think when she comes along.
• I cried at the show 16 & Pregnant tonight, because this wise little 16 year old girl realized that in order to give her little boy the best life she had to give him up for adoption and I balled my eyes out at the fact that she did it even though it was really hard for her to...I think I cried because I don't think even at 30 I would be able to do that. So for all those out there that have given up a child, I applaud you!!

Peanuts Blanket

I am still continuing on Peanut's Blanket...its taking me awhile, but I am getting there, I should be able to really concentrate on it soon. Here is a picture of what it's starting to look like. Right now it's just a bunch of blocks and I haven't put it together yet. It's going to be another two squares wide.

Another Project for Peanut

I started Peanut's Scrapbook...I went to Archivers last night to find a cute pink book and found nothing, and then when I was about to give up I found a spring looking light green scrapbook with paper and everything included...so I got that and the blank calendar and then some more paper and things....

I plan on making two pages for each month -one of those has a calendar...Then I can hang the calender page on the Fridge and mark down all her milestones. Her birthday, her first smile etc....The pages are all going to be kind of spring like, but I really think that will still work. I can add other blemishes when its halloween and stuff...Let me know what you think?

Ultrasound Pictures

Here are the pictures from the Ultrasound. This is Peanut's Profile. If you look close you can see Peanut sucking their thumb or one of their fingers

This is a picture of Peanut's Hands. You can see the digits. They are the white stripes in the pictures. The tech said this was interesting, because most babies have their fingers balled up.

Here is a picture of Peanut's Foot....you can see the digits in this one too. So cute.

The tech said that Peanut is about 8oz maybe 10, but probably no more than that. I have an anterior placenta (have to do more research on what exactly that means) but pretty much it sits farther back, so I might not feel peanut moving around as much in the front of my belly and I might feel peanut more in my back.

Dear Peanut

Mommy wanted to write you a letter...I am almost 14 weeks along in the pregnancy with you, that's 1/3rd of the way done! and 1/3rd of the way closer to meeting you. In a few weeks (about 6 or 8 weeks) we will get to find out if you are a boy or a girl. Mommy and Daddy both think you are going to be a boy...but as long as you are healthy it really doesn't matter to us either way. We are just excited to see you and meet you.

Even though I know right now you can't hear it (Soon you will be able to) I say good morning to you every morning and tell you that I love you every day (many times). And even though you aren't in this world yet, I can't believe how much I love you already! It's amazing how much love I have in my heart for you and I haven't even met you or held you...

We can't wait to hold your little hand, and show you all the things that we have learned in our life. I know that Daddy is waiting for the day when he can take out you on the ski slope and show you all he knows. Mommy will be sitting in the Chalet (She doesn't like skiing very much) but we have lots of things we can do.

We love you so much! and can't wait to see you!

I'm Grateful for....

I was driving to work the other day - Tuesday and there was fresh ice on all the trees and it was gorgeous! I wish I had my camera so I could have stopped to take a picture of it. But this morning it was sort of the same, except just foggy. But for some reason I got this grateful feeling that came over me. I am not sure what it was, but it made me want to write some things down.

I am Grateful for....

   My husband! Who cleans up the tuna pan from last night's dinner because it was going to make me yack if I did it....Who loves me even though I feel like crap right now and feel that I look like crap right now...Who tells me I am beautiful despite the ever growing acne on my face and funny walk I have when I sit on the couch too long because my back hurts :)

   My wonderful Puppy! Who drives me crazy when she only has to go outside once during the day, but 7 times within 4 hours at night (Because she wants to find the mouse living outside our house). Who almost got away this morning because she wanted to chase a squirrel in our neighbors yard in a tree. Who sits next to me at night and keeps me warm when Mike is working. Who tries to eat my yarn from the project I am working on for peanut.

   My awesome group of Friends and Family! Who are super excited for us for this little life we are bringing into the world. For my Cousin Jenny who is excited for us, even though she is going through her own struggles right now (I LOVE YOU!).

   My Job..which I am lucky to have, although sometimes I wish I could just become a stay at home Mom.

   My Little Peanut - Who although he/she is only the size of a quarter right now has already filled my heart with so much love that I am not sure if it can fit anymore. And who I am super excited to meet and while I am super nervous about becoming a mom, I can't wait for the next 7 months to get over with so I can meet this little one.

There is plenty more - I am grateful for my relationship with my husband and how over the past few years it's only gotten stronger...and we are better people and have a better relationship and right now I am the happiest in my life that I have ever been.

What is everyone else grateful for?

P.S. I didn't take this picture, this was taken in St. Paul by someone on the internet :)

My First Project for Peanut

I have been wanting to start this for awhile, but was a little hesitant. So I decided today was the day, I am almost 10 weeks and it's going to take me awhile and if I want to do any hats or socks or anything I need to get this finished so I can do those as well...

This is a pretty easy pattern, which is always good, because I don't do well with switching colors and stuff. With this one they tell you how many blocks of each other that you will need and then you just lay them out and sew them together. Seems pretty easy, it's just like making wash clothes. So Mike and I went to the craft shop today and picked out the four colors (Berry, Lake, Lime & Maize) which are sort of like the ones that are shown in the picture. I didn't worsted weight Cotton instead of Wool. I just don't like wool, even though most of it's soft, I really like Cotton-ease by Lion Brand. I made a scarf out of it a few years ago and I really like how it feels and its machine washable. I have 2 1/2 squares done already..going to have to stop blogging to get the rest of them started and only about 60 squares to go :) So hopefully I can knit them all the same width and I don't change my gauge too much. They always tell you to check your gauge, but for me that never matters (especially for blankets), because it really depends on my mood. If I am not stressed out my knitting is a lot looser. so I am just checking the blocks before I bind off and so far that's working.