Hanging up the Horns

That's right you read that right...I am hanging up the horns. I started pumping regularly in September of 2010 and one year later I will be done. Tomorrow is my last day and I have to say it's been a journey.  There were times when I was delusional and I thought I would be able to pump until she was 18 months old, but that was really until I realized that I could nurse her and not pump and it would be okay.

When I first started pumping I was working in the office 3 days a week and it was a bit tough. I had to schedule the room, get my pump and go downstairs for 3 breaks at a 1/2 hour each time. When I first started I didn't have a hands free pump, so I had to hold both of them the entire time - talk about a pain in the butt. You can't read a book and turn pages and stuff when you are holding both bottles.

It got SOOO much better once I got a hands free pumping bra. For all those ladies out there that are pumping if you are doing it a lot you NEED to get one of these. It was the best $30 bucks I have spent on pumping supplies. This really is what saved me. It helped me go from being handicapped pumper to a pro-pumper where I could work while pumping. It really helped me not have to extend my work day by an hour each day and able to still get things done.

Some things I learned over the last year of pumping.

1. It's not easy
2. You definitely need to have a hands free pump system or bra if you are going to pump as much as I did
3. You need to have a nice room/set up to pump to feel comfortable because it will effect your output.
4. A pump is loud over the phone and sounds like either a treadmill or a dog barking - yes that happened to me
5. It's not easy to pump in the car
6. It's definitely not easy to pump in a women's locker room, or in a hallway - but it can be done, same as #5.
7. You need to have support to pump for a long time
8. You need to not feel guilty when you want to stop, no matter when that is
9. Size does matter!! The size of the horns definitely has to be right or it can effect your output
10. Hand compressions while pumping increases your output (unfortunately I didn't learn this until about 5 weeks ago)

I am so glad to be done pumping and I am praying that I can keep nursing my baby girl for a lot longer. I really like the bonding time that she and I have while nursing. But I have to admit that it will be super nice not to have to worry about not having milk for her, the stress of not pumping enough. Now we can go out to a restaurant and if in a pinch we need milk we can get it from them. Gabby is taking to whole milk like a champ. I have about 30oz left in the freezer so when that's out it's out....Another chapter closed and another one opened....

I want to give all my pumping mama's out there a big round of applause. Keep it up!! I am here to support you as I know I will need your support the next time I do this!

Tuesday's Unwrapped - A Love Hate Relationship

I have had a love/hate relationship with my pump. Its been about 9 months or so that I have been having to lug around this bag with me 5 days a week and on vacations and up to the lake. The love part is that it's given my baby girl the nourishment that she has needed for those 9 months and allowed me the freedom to be away from her. One two hundred dollar item has saved us so much money, helped me lose weight and provided for my little girl.

The hate part is more than I can almost bear at the moment. As we speak, as I write these words on this screen I am pumping. This will be the fourth time that I have pumped today. Why might you ask am I pumping that much, well Gabby is currently drinking/eating in her oatmeal about 16oz of breastmilk per day at daycare. This isn't counting times I am away from her (Like last Friday).Today however I only pumped 12oz in my normal 3 pumping sessions and so I don't have to take any of my precious freezer stash out I am trying to get another 4 or so oz to send to daycare with her tomorrow. Plus the more I pump now the less I will have to in a few weeks from now. I should have been doing this months ago, but really I just didn't feel like it.

So here is my pumping experience - this may be long, so I apologize in advance.
I picked up the pump at the hospital it was actually cheaper than Babies R Us or online which was shocking, but I digress. The LC (Lactation Consultant) briefly showed me how to use it. She mentioned to use it a few times after I started nursing in a few weeks to build up my supply. but that was it. a few key things she neglected to tell me.
1. If it hurts you have too small of a horn (flange) and you can go get other ones.
2. What the correct fit is for pumping (Which I still to this day don't really understand and think I still have the wrong size).
3. That pumping really takes a long time and you should do hand compressions while pumping because the milk output will be a lot greater.

I think had I know these three things I would have gotten a lot more milk a lot quicker and might be in a better situation than I am at the moment.
I had an over supply starting out - my milk was flowing - if you have read some of my past posts, you know that I would spray Cuddle bug in the face, I would have to pump before feeding her or put it into a towel. it was a nightmare. But while it was tough for breastfeeding it made building up a supply easy. While on Maternity leave I was getting probably 10 oz a day frozen up. I was pumping almost 20 a day after going back to work and she wasn't eating nearly that. Eventually though (I would say the past three months or so) I have regulated out a lot more and I am barely keeping up.

I have taken Mothers Love pills - which are nasty, tried to drink up to if not more than 60oz a day of water, increased my pumpings, pumped on the weekends and eaten oatmeal all to increase my supply. What worked the best though was having Gabby around for a week nursing almost every 2 hours.

So now that we are reaching a year I am getting really really really sick of pumping. It takes me about 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day (that I work through) to pump all the milk I need for her for the next day at daycare. Slowly my supply has dwindled down but the past few days I am building it back up. We are now back to about 100oz in the freezer. but again if I can't keep up this will dwindle it down again.




The other thing that really gets me about pumping that I don't think people understand (especially after reading an opinion piece about mothers breastfeeding in public should be discrete) is how much it can hurt. The nipples can get raw and stretched and I mean think about it, its really like you would milk a cow or a goat. This is where I think I still don't have the right sized flanges. Because I don't think it should hurt but it does. Not only do I pump for 20 minutes to a 1/2 hour 3 or 4 times a day, but when I can I have been doing hand compressions during and after pumping to get even more milk out. This was passed on from the mom's group at work and had I known this months ago I think I would be much better off than I am.

I hope that I can lessen my pumps down to 2 or 3 during the day slowly starting in about a two or three weeks and then by the time her birthday rolls around and we talk with the doc we can start weaning her off of Breastmilk during the day and onto cows milk or rice milk or whatever during the day and I can nurse at night.



I know that I definitely won't miss pumping...but I will miss nursing when the time comes for her to wean herself. I plan on going as long as I can, until she is ready or I get pregnant which ever comes first. I changed my mind about having an end date, because if I don't make it to that point then I might be sad and stressed about it and that's not something I want to put onto myself.

Here is to all the pumping mothers out there! You can do it!! and I applaud all those that have. I have a new found respect for all of you!!

Wordy Wednesday

I know I usually do Wordless Wendesday, but since I didn't get the lovely pictures of Gabby covered in Avocado (See next week) You are getting a Wordy Wednesday post. It's also something that has been on my mind the past few days and I want to get people's opinions/advice and what they have done. So all you BTDT (Been There Done That) Mom's I need you to come out of the woodwork and stop lurking. Especially those that are working moms and have pumped for any period of time.

If you are regular followers you know that Cuddlebug has been exclusively on breast milk since the day she was born. We had our troubles in the beginning but I stuck it out and now here we are almost 10 months later and while I LOVE LOVE LOVE to nurse my little Cuddlebug I HATE HATE HATE pumping. Yep there I said it. I hate pumping and I want to quit. I know she only has 2 more months until she is a year, so I am trying to make it to then to quit. I have to go home tonight and tally up all the milk I have in the fridge and see how much that is and how long that will last me.

So I was talking to some of the mom's here at work and they asked me how much and how often is she eating and nursing. Here is our schedule:
6:30 to 7:00am is wakeup and eat time for the day. It's the only time I nurse her before going to work
8:30 or 9:00 - Pump #1
9:00 - Gabby eats anywhere from 4 to 8oz of BM depending on how hungry she is
10:00 - Snack time -she usually gets toast, avocado, cereal, puffs, or whatever puree is open for the day, or if I send some leftovers from the meal the night before.
12:00 - Gabby eats another 4 to 8oz.
12:30 - Pump #2
3:00 - Gabby usually eats about 4 to 5oz
3:00 - Pump #3
5:00 - Gabby nurses from me and then has dinner with us. Same as lunch, whatever are having.
6:30 - Nurses a bit and then goes down for sleep.

This next part varies widely. I think the past couple of days she has been nursing for comfort and I have been letting her because honestly sometimes it's just easier....
10:30- usually wakes up and needs a diaper change and sometimes I feed her, really depends on the mood. I know I need to be more consistent and I am thinking of trying to stop this feeding.
1:00 or 2:30 - wake up, change diaper feed again.
4:00- Wake up, change diaper feed again.

and we are back to the 7am feeding again. That being said I am usually pumping about 12 to 15oz a day, sometimes up to 17, but I havent' had that in a long time. as you can see Gabby can eat from 12 to 20oz a day sometimes...so obviously there are days when I can keep up and days when I can't. Also I am usually giving her frozen stuff which has to be used within 24 hours, so if we don't use it up at daycare then I have to throw it, which is like throwing away gold.

I took for granted in the beginning that I had an over supply and I am now kicking myself for not pumping more and saving more, but I can't change that. I also am so sick of pumping that I don't like to pump on the weekends or anything when she is with me.

So here comes my dilemma. Do I cut down her bottles. it's suggested by a few people that she is eating way too much at daycare. So I was thinking of slowly cutting down the amount that I bring to daycare to get down to 12oz during the day, instead of the 17. Then I can cut down my pumpings to two times a day which wouldn't be nearly as bad and I could probably manage at that rate for another 2 to 4 or 6 months. at that point she can be transitioned to Almond or cows milk and more solids and would be drinking less. Then my goal would be to cut out my pumpings and just nurse at night and in the mornings. until she is 18 months, loses interest or I lose my milk supply.

What have others done?

Pumping

Sorry I have been MIA a bit lately, just haven't had a chance to sit down and write a good blog post lately. Too much going on with the home front and not interesting enough to blog about. Not that this next post will be, just something I was thinking about (Since it consumes 1 1/2 to 2 hours of my day 5 days a week).

My little angel, sweetie pie, pumpkin pie, sweet pea and cuddlebug is turning 8 months on Sunday. That means a few things for me.
1. She is growing up way too fast!
2. I have been a mom for 8 months
3. I have been breast feeding my cuddlebug for 8 months
4. I have been pumping at least 5 days a week for the past 6 1/2 months or so.
5. I have no idea where the heck time went.

I remember when I was first starting out with Breastfeeding I kept saying to myself how the heck am I going to make it to a year! I mean really, this is painful it hurts etc etc...how can I get myself to do this for a year. and now that it's been 8 months I can't imagine stopping now. Sure it has it's moments...my mother brain has failed me a few times and I have done some weird things. Leaving an 8oz bottle of my milk in the cupboard, I was thinking I was putting it in the fridge...Having to be on a conference call a few times while pumping and people asking "Is that someone running on a treadmill" or "Is that's someone's dog barking?" No it's not either of those things. It's me sitting at my desk at home or down in the mother's room at work, with two horns attached to me pumping milk for my precious little cuddlebug.

I have started to get the "you are still nursing" or the "I can't believe you are still pumping" and some days I do wonder, why am I still doing it. I HATE pumping, I really do. I hate having to stop what I am doing three times a day and attach myself to this machine to pump milk out of me. But then I think about Cuddlebug and how much I LOVE nursing her at night and in the morning. even in the middle of the evening when it's 2am or whatever I love watching her eat. I love the closeness I feel and the bond that her and I share. I know I could still have that bond if I gave her formula, but I have been blessed with a supply of millk, specifically made for her, so why should I go and wean her onto formula.

I guess that's part of being a mom. Sacrificing my time to do something great for my child. Even though it's sometimes painful to pump and I hate having to take the time out of my day, it's something that my little cuddlebug needs and I will keep doing it as long as I need to. Now I know some of you are out there thinking "Oh she is one of those"...one of those women that's going to breastfeed her child until she is 7 years old. Okay well I am going to do some extended breastfeeding, but not until she is 7. There is proven fact that the longer you breastfeed a baby the better off they are. So if I can then why not! Here is a great fact sheet that a good friend of mine gave me from Kellymom - which if you are breastfeeding, plan on breastfeeding or are pregnant I highly suggest this site, I have gone here numerous times for information.

I truly believe that whatever a mother decides to do breastfeeding wise for her family is what is right. Not all women can breastfeed, but those that can and choose to do it for a long time - I raise my hat to you and support you in your decision. Why do we have to bring mom's down around us..Let's support all those mom's out there, the ones that breastfeed and the ones that formula feed. We all have our reasons and those are what makes this world great!

I am choosing to breast feed for as long as I can, or until I get pregnant again. If I have trouble conceiving while breastfeeding I might choose to wean Cuddlebug, but until that time I can't make that decision. I am 4 months from my first goal which is 1 year and another 10 months from my Ultimate goal of 18 months. and who knows, I never though I would want to go 18 months, so I might end up going to 2 years. you just never know!

Working and Pumping

I have been working and pumping since November 2010, going on 5 months now and I haven't really had many stumbling blocks or problems with it in the workplace. There are many women who have problems. They have to pump in rooms that don't lock, or rooms that are janitor closets or even bathrooms. They have to pump while driving, or in their car. They have managers who don't understand and don't want to give them the breaks. Even though this is the Law. Work places are supposed to offer women a place to pump that is NOT a bathroom. They also HAVE to give them the breaks within their day. We have come a long way, but have so much farther to go. 

Until this week that is. I started out in November working in the office 3 days a week and at home 2 days a week. My job is great and is very flexible, so it's been wonderful. The office has a great Mother's room. It's the best I have seen at any of my jobs and really only two of them have had them. There are two rooms that you can schedule. It's all through Outlook so it's nice. I have a 3 appointments the day I am in the office one at 9ish, 12ish and 3ish. It was working wonderful and then my work schedule got crazy. So after a discussion with my boss she allowed me to work from home 3 days a week instead of the 2. It allows me to pump whenever and not have to worry about scheduling the room.

Our Mothers room is awesome. Like I said it has two different rooms with locks on them. It has wireless or plug in for computers and a phone. We also have a microwave and a fridge along with a sink so you can wash the pump parts. It's super nice! We also leave notes for each other and have a great group of mothers.

It's all been going well like I said until this week. I had a training class at our corporate building...I was prepared and found out there was a mothers room over there, found out that I just needed to talk to the person at the front desk by the conference rooms and schedule it. What I didn't know is that it was going to be booked up. Yep that's right booked up, and it was the same as ours, but not through outlook. through the desk and it's also was only available at 10 and 3:30.

Day 1 of Training:
10:00 comes around and it worked out great. Our break from class was at 10 and I was able to go down there and use the room. The room consisted two cubicles with desks. It too had a phone and a cord for your computer, but you were in a open room with cubicles. If the Cube was occupied you had to turn a sheet of paper over to indicate as such. Not ideal!

12:00 came around and it was our lunch break. I walked all the way downstairs to the Women's locker room to use that - because the Mothers room was full and I was told that was "backup" for when it was full. Well first I didn't have access ,but once I did have access, it would have been better to go to my car. I know I would have felt more comfortable. In the locker room there was 1 plug in - Yep 1 plug in. and that was on the bench by the lockers. Which was by the showers as well. So I had to sit in the open, exposed pumping. not even a room nothing. The mothers room here was a dream vacation compared to the locker room. But I pumped, and I got about 4oz....which is a LOT lower than I normally do.

3:00 cam around - Well the Mother's room wasn't available at this time, so it was back to the locker room. and this time there were two people in it, so needless to say I was a bit uncomfortable! It was so not ideal.

Day 2 - I thought well at least I can get one of the pumpings in the mothers room at 10 and then pump at lunch in the locker room and then we are done around 3 or 3:30 and I can either pump or go pick up Gabby.  But of course it couldn't just work out all that nice could it? My instructor had to go and change the break time to 9am instead of 10am. So down to the locker room I go again at 9. This time at least there wasn't anyone there. I didn't pump that much because I had pumped like 8oz this morning at 6 when I woke up (Gabby slept the entire night! except for getting up at 1:00am).

Then at our lunch break I went down there, there were two people in there, stressed me out some and I ended up only pumping.about 3oz. So total for the day I pumped 15 which really is about normal. Except 5oz of that Gabby ate this morning. So I didn't pump what I normally do to keep up.

All in all it was a stressful week for pumping. I plan on contacting our HR department and informing them of this situation. I am supposed to be provided an area to pump that is not a bathroom and technically the locker room is a bathroom....It's amazing what we have to go through to pump milk for our babies. I really have never had a problem. It makes me not want to take anymore training classes here until I am done pumping. or at least down to less than 3 times a day.

Wish me luck with the talk with HR.