I know I know, I have talked about this over and over and I will admit that lately when people ask me if Cuddlebug is sleeping through the night I tell them Yep! She sure is...Why do I do that you ask? Because honestly it's easier to do that then hear the "OH she isn't sleeping through the night? How old is she now" "Oh 8 months? she really should be by now". Yep I realize like this one mommy blogger writes in a few posts that "The Experts" say that an 8 month old should be sleeping through the night however our 8 month old Cuddlebug is not currently doing that.
I have read a lot about this subject as since she was 2 months old we really haven't slept all that well. We will have a good night here or there, but if it's not an ear infection it's a cold and if it's not either of those it's teething. and really you shouldn't do any sort of sleep training when they are sick or teething, which has been my life since January. So what is a mother to do...wait it out I guess!
I really resonated with the Chief Mommy Officer (See blog link above) in her posts.Everyone tells me you just have to let her CIO...well yes sometimes I do. Sometimes at night after she goes to bed I let her cry a bit before going up to check on her to make sure she is serious about what she wants. Sometimes she lets out this "I'm just kidding mom" cry just to see if I am paying attention and I think to remind her father and I that she is still up there. (Which I actually appreciate). And there are times when it's better if I just walk away - you all know what I am talking about..and I have to let her cry. Usually this is when her father goes in and takes care of her.
But most of the time when she wakes in the middle of the night it's for a reason, either her diaper is full/wet or both and/or she is starving. OR she needs to be comforted because she is sick or teething. So I don't feel comfortable just yet weaning her of one of her feedings. I don't feed her every time she cries anymore like I did when she was little...it really depends on when the last time she ate was, but I do go in and comfort her and try to get her back down. We have let her cry it out - one time on accident - we forgot to turn the monitor on. and she was crying for what we think was a good 20 minutes. The poor little cuddlebug was all blotchy red (all the way up to the top middle part of her head, which you can see because she has no hair) and she was starting to hyperventilate a bit. One time she spit up on me after crying so hard. So this CIO as explained in a few books I have read is not something that I genuinely like to do -Not saying that others that do CIO are bad in anyway, because it works for them. which is why these books drive me crazy. What works for one or two of my friends does not always work for me.
I never realized this until becoming a parent and I think it's the most important lesson I have learned in the short 8 months I have been a parent. My SIL and my cousin both had little ones that refused to sleep in their cribs. I thought - why is it so difficult, just put them in the crib and let them cry and they will learn right? Well after many times of having to do this myself I realized the flaw in my logic.
1. Not all kids are a like - so what works for my SIL might not work for myself or my cousin and vice versa.
2. My niece was very colicy when she was little and being held is what made her feel comforted and safe and isn't that our job as parents?
3. When a child is sick (Like my niece was a lot during the winter) they need to sleep upright and they can't always do that in their crib.
Every time I tell people she isn't sleeping - they throw suggestions at me. Raise up one end of the crib, give her tylenol, give her teething tablets, hold her while hopping around on one foot with your left arm raised...okay I made that last one up but you get the picture. While these are all good suggestions (I have tried them all believe me) they might work one night and then not another, so what am I to do?
I do what works for us...which is having my little one now unswaddled (thank goodness we won that battle months back), sleeping with a blanket under her in her car seat, giving her teething tablets for the first round and if that doesn't work letting her sleep on her boppy (OH NO! not the boppy) with her puppy and blanket and drugging her up with a dose of Motrin...Sometimes it works and other times like last night we both only get about 4 hours of sleep!
I figure she will be heading off to college with a carseat or her boppy so she can sleep at night...hopefully not in a crib.
I have read a lot about this subject as since she was 2 months old we really haven't slept all that well. We will have a good night here or there, but if it's not an ear infection it's a cold and if it's not either of those it's teething. and really you shouldn't do any sort of sleep training when they are sick or teething, which has been my life since January. So what is a mother to do...wait it out I guess!
I really resonated with the Chief Mommy Officer (See blog link above) in her posts.Everyone tells me you just have to let her CIO...well yes sometimes I do. Sometimes at night after she goes to bed I let her cry a bit before going up to check on her to make sure she is serious about what she wants. Sometimes she lets out this "I'm just kidding mom" cry just to see if I am paying attention and I think to remind her father and I that she is still up there. (Which I actually appreciate). And there are times when it's better if I just walk away - you all know what I am talking about..and I have to let her cry. Usually this is when her father goes in and takes care of her.
But most of the time when she wakes in the middle of the night it's for a reason, either her diaper is full/wet or both and/or she is starving. OR she needs to be comforted because she is sick or teething. So I don't feel comfortable just yet weaning her of one of her feedings. I don't feed her every time she cries anymore like I did when she was little...it really depends on when the last time she ate was, but I do go in and comfort her and try to get her back down. We have let her cry it out - one time on accident - we forgot to turn the monitor on. and she was crying for what we think was a good 20 minutes. The poor little cuddlebug was all blotchy red (all the way up to the top middle part of her head, which you can see because she has no hair) and she was starting to hyperventilate a bit. One time she spit up on me after crying so hard. So this CIO as explained in a few books I have read is not something that I genuinely like to do -Not saying that others that do CIO are bad in anyway, because it works for them. which is why these books drive me crazy. What works for one or two of my friends does not always work for me.
I never realized this until becoming a parent and I think it's the most important lesson I have learned in the short 8 months I have been a parent. My SIL and my cousin both had little ones that refused to sleep in their cribs. I thought - why is it so difficult, just put them in the crib and let them cry and they will learn right? Well after many times of having to do this myself I realized the flaw in my logic.
1. Not all kids are a like - so what works for my SIL might not work for myself or my cousin and vice versa.
2. My niece was very colicy when she was little and being held is what made her feel comforted and safe and isn't that our job as parents?
3. When a child is sick (Like my niece was a lot during the winter) they need to sleep upright and they can't always do that in their crib.
Every time I tell people she isn't sleeping - they throw suggestions at me. Raise up one end of the crib, give her tylenol, give her teething tablets, hold her while hopping around on one foot with your left arm raised...okay I made that last one up but you get the picture. While these are all good suggestions (I have tried them all believe me) they might work one night and then not another, so what am I to do?
I do what works for us...which is having my little one now unswaddled (thank goodness we won that battle months back), sleeping with a blanket under her in her car seat, giving her teething tablets for the first round and if that doesn't work letting her sleep on her boppy (OH NO! not the boppy) with her puppy and blanket and drugging her up with a dose of Motrin...Sometimes it works and other times like last night we both only get about 4 hours of sleep!
I figure she will be heading off to college with a carseat or her boppy so she can sleep at night...hopefully not in a crib.
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8 comments:
I don't want to come off the wrong way here but extended periods in the car seat are very bad for their spine. It can cause it to form wrong and fuse in the wrong places. I would keep doing what works but also look for alternatives that won't curve her spine for so long.
Judah doesn't sleep through the night, although we are trying to transition him to his crib instead of co-sleeping since he's starting to raom around the bed when he wakes up. It's a lot more disruptive when he gets up now because I have to go and get him, bring him to bed and then hope he falls asleep or else I'm getting up to put him back in his crib- we do this 3-5 times a night. The boys didn't STTN until 14 months. It actually doesn't bother me so much now. Of course I am not working now, so it's ok if I'm tired the next day. With the boys I was working overnight and it was just DH, with 2 boys who got up every other hour all night! I don't know how we survived that :)
James still takes a lot of naps in his swing, but we are really trying to transition him out of it!
But in terms of sleeping through the night, I honestly just approached parenthood thinking that he would not sleep through the night ever basically. At least not until he is one or two. So when James sleeps 6 and 8 hour stretches at night (like from 8-2, or 8-5, or 12-6) I feel very very lucky, and when he wakes up one or two times during the night I just try to look at it as normal. I don't know, I think perception makes a big difference. I swear the common perception of when babies sleep through the night got formed in the formula heyday. Breastmilk is not as dense as formula and there really isn't any reason why she SHOULD be STTN, I don't think. That's how I would respond if I were you and people asked me if he was sleeping through the night. I would just say:
"No, but that isn't really expected of a breastfed baby until they are quite a bit older, so it's okay".
Anyway, sorry you have to endure people being judgmental, that's annoying.
Amy - Thanks for letting me know. We take Gabby to a chiropractor and so far her spine is aligning really well. but we are working really hard to get her out of the seat. In fact tonight (Cross your fingers) she is currently sleeping in her crib and not in her car seat.
Erin - Its good to know I am not alone )
Adrienne - Thanks so much for that tip, I always knew that, just always forget to say that :)
Hi Jessica! Following you from Voiceboks. Ugh, the sleep thing. My son was a natural soother and sleeper, and I was convinced it must have just been my wonderful parenting (ha!). Then my daughter was born, and I stupidly thought if I did things the same way, she would be a great sleeper too. Soooo not the case. It took her until about 6-7 months to be able to soothe herself to sleep initially, and she still woke once a night to nurse until she was a year (when I'd had enough and bit the bullet to let her CIO). So, yes, I know full well that every child is different. I agree with Adrienne, our expectations have a huge impact on how we perceive our child's sleep. Looking back, P was, and is still a good sleeper. I just never gave her enough credit! Feeding once or twice a night is normal at this age. 12 hours is a long time for little stomachs to go without food! Heck, I know some adults that can't go that long at night without eating. And if it works for you and your family, then so be it. I know you're not looking for advice, but have you checked out the Baby Sleep Site? She has some great articles that I found really helpful. Good luck!
Gina
http://totallyfull.blogspot.com
Thanks Gina - I actually have looked at that site, although not recently, so maybe I need to check it out again. we had a WONDERFUL night last night. I put her down around 7:30 - out like a light not in her carseat and slept until 11:30. Fed her and back out and slept until almost 5am...so it was a good night. I can deal with getting up two times a night.
We also did notice two white spots in her gums last night, so maybe those pesky teeth will be popping out in the next week or so. Glad you found me!
Hi Jessica,
I get the same quips about where my son should be with his growth chart. It's great that you don't worry about what other people think. I believe people just respond back with what you should and shouldn't do, because by nature, people just love to talk, give advice, etc. I think we boost our own egoes when we think we're better than someone in some ways, regardless of how small it is. Our kids will grow at their pace.
Hope you have a great day.
Lexie Lane
www.voiceboks.com
Oh what a topic for moms, huh? Seems like people love to compete in this area. I hate the "is she sleeping through the night?" questions! You just have to do what works for you and not apologize. Eliza is still not STTN and honestly, I doubt she will do so anytime soon. At nearly 18 months old, I still think this is within the normal range - but many people would disagree with me, I'm sure. But, it's just how she is, and we were not willing to do CIO, so we knew we'd be in for not STTN for quite a while and we were okay with that. Anyway, sounds like Gabby is healthy and happy and quite "normal"! And don't worry about the car seat sleeping :)
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