The right time for what you may be asking...The right time to add to our family again. As Gabby turns 7 months today it's something that has come up in my mine. Mike and I always talked about waiting - at least until Tuesday I thought that waiting was until in 2012 sometime. so that I had PLENTY of time. I am not saying we are trying now, so don't get your panties in a bunch.
The reason this discussion came up is we are currently going through an issue with our roof. You might ask yourself how does roof get you to talk about spacing of your kids. Well our roof is leaking and it's need of repair. We are playing the "We might as well..." game that some good friends of ours played and are still going through with their remodel. We currently have 2 bedrooms upstairs and one large one downstairs. Well if we want to add to our family again and we want the kids to have their own rooms, because face it, I can't sleep with them in my room and Gabby's room is WAY too small for two kids. So We set out a few years ago to have some drawings made up. The short story is that we are adding on two bedrooms upstairs above the garage and turning the two bedrooms we have currently into a master suite.
This is where the "We might as well" game comes into play. If we are replacing the back side of the roof on the house we might as well start the remodel sooner, which means we might as well get all new siding, all new windows and add on the two bedrooms and get everything roughed in...this "We might as well" game got me thinking about our baby and the one we want to add to our family.
My plan had been wait until the summer of 2012 to start trying for another little one. Hopefully (I know it can change) my cycle will be back and it won't take long to get pregnant and we can have a Spring 2013 baby and Gabby will be almost 3 by then. a good 2 1/2 year spacing! Well when discussing with Mike he thought I was meaning to try this summer which would give us a Spring 2012 baby ( EEK!) and have about a 20 to 22 month difference. I don't know if I am ready for that.
So that really got me thinking. what is a good spacing for kids? Longer, shorter in between. We know we don't want to go more than 4 years apart. But I am an only and Mike's brother is 22 months younger than him...so we don't have a lot of things to compare it to. I am looking for thoughts on this so all those lurkers out there and non lurkers please comment. If you don't want to comment on the blog then send me an email! or comment anonymously!
The reason this discussion came up is we are currently going through an issue with our roof. You might ask yourself how does roof get you to talk about spacing of your kids. Well our roof is leaking and it's need of repair. We are playing the "We might as well..." game that some good friends of ours played and are still going through with their remodel. We currently have 2 bedrooms upstairs and one large one downstairs. Well if we want to add to our family again and we want the kids to have their own rooms, because face it, I can't sleep with them in my room and Gabby's room is WAY too small for two kids. So We set out a few years ago to have some drawings made up. The short story is that we are adding on two bedrooms upstairs above the garage and turning the two bedrooms we have currently into a master suite.
This is where the "We might as well" game comes into play. If we are replacing the back side of the roof on the house we might as well start the remodel sooner, which means we might as well get all new siding, all new windows and add on the two bedrooms and get everything roughed in...this "We might as well" game got me thinking about our baby and the one we want to add to our family.
My plan had been wait until the summer of 2012 to start trying for another little one. Hopefully (I know it can change) my cycle will be back and it won't take long to get pregnant and we can have a Spring 2013 baby and Gabby will be almost 3 by then. a good 2 1/2 year spacing! Well when discussing with Mike he thought I was meaning to try this summer which would give us a Spring 2012 baby ( EEK!) and have about a 20 to 22 month difference. I don't know if I am ready for that.
So that really got me thinking. what is a good spacing for kids? Longer, shorter in between. We know we don't want to go more than 4 years apart. But I am an only and Mike's brother is 22 months younger than him...so we don't have a lot of things to compare it to. I am looking for thoughts on this so all those lurkers out there and non lurkers please comment. If you don't want to comment on the blog then send me an email! or comment anonymously!
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When I was pregnant with the boys I said I'd never ever do it again. I'm horrible at being pregnant. Thanks to a hefty dose of momnesia I was ready to do it again by my 6 week appointment! My midwife convinced us to wait until the boys were a year- I got pregnant the month they turned one. So far things are great! They are 21 months apart and Judah really works hard to get in the mix- he can't wait to play with his brothers. He'll stand at the coffee table and read books with them and the smile on his face is amazing. I'm really glad we had them close together. Now we are not ruling out a 4th just yet. Because of the boys autism diagnosis in December having another baby so close is probably not in the cards. Just because we are so busy with everything else and still navigating therapies and school. But maybe when I turn 35...I might even have everyone out of diapers by then!
We tried before I came to visit my mom in Oregon and we plan to continue trying when I get back. At this point that would make an at least 25 month difference IF everything goes according to plan and IF we get pregnant right away. With PCOS that's not likely. But hopefully it will happen!
Obviously not a BTDT, but do whatever makes you guys feel comfortable. I really don't think spacing makes much of a difference when it comes to children getting along, especially when you're talking about 2 or 3 year spacing. It's way more about personality. I know kids who are close in age but hate each other, kids who are far apart in age and hate each other, kids who are close in age but love each other, etc. etc. etc..
I think, just like with Gabby, you and DH will know when you're ready.
Thanks Ladies! I know we have to do what ever feels right. I was just curious about what others have done. It seems like no matter who you talk to, the spacing always seems right for their family, so I guess that answers my question there :)
I agree with Alyssa--you'll know when you're ready. I love the not-quite-three-years spacing between Eliana and Alaric; they get along well (most of the time) and can do a lot of things together now. But it was sometimes challenging when she was a three-year-old (and of course continues to have its own challenges). I think the greater spacing for this last one will work well for our current situation; there is no way either of us were ready earlier!
Thanks Cheri - I have a feeling we will probably have the almost 3 year spacing as well...I think it will just fit right - And of course that all depends on how long it takes for us to get pregnant...You can only control it so much right?
and if I had a little one like Alaric - with all the stories you have told me, I think I would have waited longer too ;)
I, too, agree with Alyssa, LOL! How well siblings play together really has more to do with personality than with spacing.
My Mom got pregnant with my sister when my other sister was 7 months old, and she was freaked at first but ended up LOVING the spacing! Then again, people on my ECing club who had nearly-two year olds seemed to wish they had waited a bit longer since it was challenging at first, but people with 2.5 year olds seemed a little more content with the spacing generally.
But I think really the biggest issue with spacing seems to come during the first 3ish months with the newborn, because it's such a major adjustment on all fronts. After the initial adjustment period, you will probably end up happy with any spacing at all!
So I agree with everyone else. If you don't feel ready, then wait! Is there is a reason you are focusing on the summer?
Adrienne - We were focusing on the summer because I want a spring baby instead of a summer baby :) So we thought we would start trying either this summer or next summer so we would have a baby between April and June :)
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