The one thing I have learned about being a parent is that you don't sleep. When they tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps you really should. I never did and I am really regretting that. It was difficult for me to take naps during the day, and now that I am working I wish I could...oh how I long for maternity leave again.
Regular readers of my blog know that we have been battling ear infections since the middle of January. Well after some good sleep last week, we had another awful few days and last night I was exhausted. I went down to my mom's yesterday to pick up the puppy after being gone for the weekend and I was starting to fall asleep. I broke my no pop & no caffeine rule last night and had some pop to keep me awake going home. So last night I decided that we were going to do some Sleep Training...
From what I read there are some different things you should do.
1. Let them cry it out for as long as it takes for them to fall asleep exhausted
2. Don't let them cry it out at all and pick them up and rock them and soothe them.
3. Give them things in their crib so they feel secure.
4. Don't give them anything in their crib as they might suffocate on it.
5. Put them in a swing/car seat etc to help them sleep
6. Don't put them in anything but their crib to sleep.
I could go on and on...but you can see how it's confusing. A parent really gets their head spinning if they try to make sure they are doing the right thing. That on top of all the advice you get from family and friends. Which is great, because you really never know when something is going to work..so always good to have things to try, but it becomes overwhelming. So I decided to say screw it all and make up my own and figure out what works for us. So here it is!
The Epp Family Sleep Training Guide:
1. Kick your significant other out of the bed and downstairs or somewhere where they won't get annoyed. As much as I love my Husband he gets frustrated when he doesn't get his 8 hours of sleep. As helpful as he is with Peanut, I feel much more comfortable not worrying about his sleep too.
2. Feed your little one and make bedtime a soothing time. We do a routine of Bath (if it's bath night), Change into PJ's, Put into the 1/2 swaddle (We are trying to break Peanut of the swaddle), Feed Peanut and let her eat as long as possible, Read a story. When done eating I try to slip in the pacifier so she thinks she is still eating.
3. Rock her to sleep and then put her into her car seat - we will be working on the crib after we can get a few hours of sleep in a row...and Pray to the Gods above she doesn't wake up in the transfer....
4. Cross your fingers and leave the room and hope she stays asleep.
For us this usually works - at least when I do it. I love my husband, but he hasn't mastered the art of putting a sleeping baby from arms into her car seat. I could write an entire post just on that! It's an skill that has to be mastered and it does take time. All you mothers out there know what I am talking about.
Last night we did the above and it worked for about a 1 hour. Until Peanut woke up with a wet diaper, so I had to repeat the process over again. Plus at this time she was hungry again. I have a grazer I think.
So I did the process above, but when I it was done this time it had to be modified a bit because she woke up and I was not able to complete step 4. So if that happens follow the steps below.
If baby does not stay asleep:
1. Leave baby in crib/carseat/swing whatever your choice of "bed" is...
2. Give baby pacifier. Peanut fights it sometimes - likes to blow raspberries in my face but in the end I KNOW that she will sleep longer with a pacifier than without, she just sometimes doesn't know it.
3. Place a hand on her stomach/chest and making a loud shhing noise. At first when I used to try this, it never worked. she would get more agitated and pretty much say "Yeah Right mom! you want me to do what?" but for some reason the last few times I have tried this it worked. So for now we are going with it.
4. Do step #3 until the baby falls asleep and quietly sneak out of the room. and Go back to step 4 Above..
Repeat this as many times. I let her cry for about 5 minutes before going in and doing anything because there are times when she does the "I am going to cry out to see if anyone is listening" cry or she is having a nightmare and just making noises in her sleep.
Last night we did this and we went from waking up every hour to 2 hours to every 3 to 3 1/2 hours....she was seriously hungry and/or needed a diaper change when we woke up each time. Except for the first hour when we had to do the 2nd group of steps to get her back to sleep.
All joking aside, it's amazing what we parents to do - both mom's and dads to get our kids to sleep. What's more amazing is the look on people's faces when I tell them that she isn't sleeping through the night. Like because I can't get my child to sleep through the night I am some how depriving them of a great childhood. That I am some how a bad parent because my kid sleeps in her crib in her car seat...I mean really? Another thing that people need to realize is that what works for one child may not/will not work for another child....
For us, the Epp family. We are not going to be forcing solids/oatmeal/puree's of any sort down Peanut's throat just to make her sleep longer. I am not worried that my child will never sleep in her crib just because she is sleeping in her carseat right now. I am not worried that she is still swaddled even 1/2 way because the way I figure it as long as she is out of her swaddle and carseat by the time she goes to college we will be good to go.
Each family is different and my whole point of this entire long drawn out post is the fact that we are all different. That's what makes this world unique. What some people do with their children is none of my business and while I may not agree with it, it's what works for them. Just like for us we are a table food, baby led, car seat sleeping, rear facing for as long as possible, breastfeeding past a year family. It's what we do. We need to stop judging parents and mothers in particular and celebrating the uniqueness of it all!
4. Cross your fingers and leave the room and hope she stays asleep.
For us this usually works - at least when I do it. I love my husband, but he hasn't mastered the art of putting a sleeping baby from arms into her car seat. I could write an entire post just on that! It's an skill that has to be mastered and it does take time. All you mothers out there know what I am talking about.
Last night we did the above and it worked for about a 1 hour. Until Peanut woke up with a wet diaper, so I had to repeat the process over again. Plus at this time she was hungry again. I have a grazer I think.
So I did the process above, but when I it was done this time it had to be modified a bit because she woke up and I was not able to complete step 4. So if that happens follow the steps below.
If baby does not stay asleep:
1. Leave baby in crib/carseat/swing whatever your choice of "bed" is...
2. Give baby pacifier. Peanut fights it sometimes - likes to blow raspberries in my face but in the end I KNOW that she will sleep longer with a pacifier than without, she just sometimes doesn't know it.
3. Place a hand on her stomach/chest and making a loud shhing noise. At first when I used to try this, it never worked. she would get more agitated and pretty much say "Yeah Right mom! you want me to do what?" but for some reason the last few times I have tried this it worked. So for now we are going with it.
4. Do step #3 until the baby falls asleep and quietly sneak out of the room. and Go back to step 4 Above..
Repeat this as many times. I let her cry for about 5 minutes before going in and doing anything because there are times when she does the "I am going to cry out to see if anyone is listening" cry or she is having a nightmare and just making noises in her sleep.
Last night we did this and we went from waking up every hour to 2 hours to every 3 to 3 1/2 hours....she was seriously hungry and/or needed a diaper change when we woke up each time. Except for the first hour when we had to do the 2nd group of steps to get her back to sleep.
All joking aside, it's amazing what we parents to do - both mom's and dads to get our kids to sleep. What's more amazing is the look on people's faces when I tell them that she isn't sleeping through the night. Like because I can't get my child to sleep through the night I am some how depriving them of a great childhood. That I am some how a bad parent because my kid sleeps in her crib in her car seat...I mean really? Another thing that people need to realize is that what works for one child may not/will not work for another child....
For us, the Epp family. We are not going to be forcing solids/oatmeal/puree's of any sort down Peanut's throat just to make her sleep longer. I am not worried that my child will never sleep in her crib just because she is sleeping in her carseat right now. I am not worried that she is still swaddled even 1/2 way because the way I figure it as long as she is out of her swaddle and carseat by the time she goes to college we will be good to go.
Each family is different and my whole point of this entire long drawn out post is the fact that we are all different. That's what makes this world unique. What some people do with their children is none of my business and while I may not agree with it, it's what works for them. Just like for us we are a table food, baby led, car seat sleeping, rear facing for as long as possible, breastfeeding past a year family. It's what we do. We need to stop judging parents and mothers in particular and celebrating the uniqueness of it all!
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3 comments:
We've waited for Monkey to give us signals that he's ready for a change. We absolutely couldn't get him to sleep in his crib for the longest time. Then he fell asleep one afternoon in his crib while looking at his mobile. He continued to sleep well in the crib from that point on, but only with a swaddle. All our attempts to get him out of the swaddle failed. Then he got an ear infection and we moved him back to his bouncer to keep him inclined and allow his stuffy head to drain better. We couldn't use the swaddle in the bouncer because of the buckle, so when we moved him back to the crib 2 weeks later, we replaced the swaddle with a sleep sack. He fussed for 15 minutes the first night, then took to it pretty well.
Of course, Monkey is exceedingly easy on the sleep side of things, and it's so hard to say what will work for other babies. Nothing that we read or were told really helped us much. We just had to take Monkey's cues for when he was ready for each step, and allow a bit of fussing it out from time to time (no full-fledge screaming it out, since Monkey only fusses when he's tired but screams bloody-murder when he really needs us, which is a nice indicator for us).
I say let her sleep where ever and however she can, and just pay attention to when she might be ready for change. Nobody knows your child as well as you do! Good luck!!
Thanks for the comment, It's what I have been trying to do, she sometimes however goes into full scream mode just when she wants you to be there and not when she really needs you- so sometimes it's a little harder to figure out, but I am sure we will get there soon :)
Yup, totally agree that what one person SWEARS by another one swears it won't work! We all love that our little ones are individual and unique, but is sure makes this whole parenting thing hard ;)
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