There are days as I a mom that I seriously don't know how I do it. I don't know how I will get through the day. On days like those I tend to look outward for support. A few weeks I had one of those days and a dear friend of mine (you know who you are) helped me get through this tough time.
I was up in the middle of the night, having changed the 6th diaper on Liv in 2 hours - Yep you heard that right, she decided she didn't want those diapers on her bottom and filled them all and got crabby when they were full. I had been up almost every hour with either Liv or Gabby and I was just tired. Tired of motherhood and tired of life....but you just keep going right?
Well thank goodness for modern technology. While I was nursing Liv I emailed her and she emailed me back when she was up with her little one. This is what she said and it helped me so much I wanted to share it.
So here is my friends wise response to me falling apart one night:
"You are feeling the horrible struggle of moms of our generation. The expectation for us to be perfect moms, have perfect careers, perfect wives, perfect party planners, perfect bakers, perfect chefs, perfect on everything on bloody Pinterest. (F off Pinterest!) keep up with family and your Facebook and friends. OMG the expectation on us is more extreme than ever before. And it's disgusting. We are only human and really our greatest gift to share is love. So all the other expectations are dumb. And just pave our ways to the nut house. I'm not Martha f'ing Stewart. I'm just me and that is the best I can ever be.
The reason you chose to have babies and alter your utopia is because you knew you had an immense amount of love to share.
Did we realize the true balance and strain and expectations that would come with the decision to love, no. We could never have imagined the struggles we would have or the amazing high.
I can't say it will ever get better but on my hardest days when I feel the most lost and crabby I choose to see it this way, even though he is screaming in my face and I'm so tired I want to scream, one day I will cry not because I'm tired and just want him to fall asleep but because I miss him needing me.
Like right now I'm up feeding him. I am so tired I could fall asleep while I do it and I know you are too. But stop when you feel that way, spend a moment looking right at Liv or Gabby and admire this one beautiful moment that they need you more than anything or anyone in the world. You, Jess, are the most important person in the world to them. Let that love and hope roll over you both for a moment. Really soak it in. Then yawn and try to survive the zombie apocalypse that we mothers call life."
So this post is to all those mama's out there and dads that are up in the middle of the night with their sweet little ones and so over tired they can barely stand. I truly believe this is why our babies/kids are so darn adorable, because if they weren't we would eat them and go back to sleep. It's times like these when their little smiles or cute sayings go along way.
Here is my support for all you parents out there reading this! We need to support each other to make it through the tough years...although with two girls I have a feeling these are the easy years and the teenage ones will be tough - so talk to me in 10 years.
I was up in the middle of the night, having changed the 6th diaper on Liv in 2 hours - Yep you heard that right, she decided she didn't want those diapers on her bottom and filled them all and got crabby when they were full. I had been up almost every hour with either Liv or Gabby and I was just tired. Tired of motherhood and tired of life....but you just keep going right?
Well thank goodness for modern technology. While I was nursing Liv I emailed her and she emailed me back when she was up with her little one. This is what she said and it helped me so much I wanted to share it.
So here is my friends wise response to me falling apart one night:
"You are feeling the horrible struggle of moms of our generation. The expectation for us to be perfect moms, have perfect careers, perfect wives, perfect party planners, perfect bakers, perfect chefs, perfect on everything on bloody Pinterest. (F off Pinterest!) keep up with family and your Facebook and friends. OMG the expectation on us is more extreme than ever before. And it's disgusting. We are only human and really our greatest gift to share is love. So all the other expectations are dumb. And just pave our ways to the nut house. I'm not Martha f'ing Stewart. I'm just me and that is the best I can ever be.
The reason you chose to have babies and alter your utopia is because you knew you had an immense amount of love to share.
Did we realize the true balance and strain and expectations that would come with the decision to love, no. We could never have imagined the struggles we would have or the amazing high.
I can't say it will ever get better but on my hardest days when I feel the most lost and crabby I choose to see it this way, even though he is screaming in my face and I'm so tired I want to scream, one day I will cry not because I'm tired and just want him to fall asleep but because I miss him needing me.
Like right now I'm up feeding him. I am so tired I could fall asleep while I do it and I know you are too. But stop when you feel that way, spend a moment looking right at Liv or Gabby and admire this one beautiful moment that they need you more than anything or anyone in the world. You, Jess, are the most important person in the world to them. Let that love and hope roll over you both for a moment. Really soak it in. Then yawn and try to survive the zombie apocalypse that we mothers call life."
So this post is to all those mama's out there and dads that are up in the middle of the night with their sweet little ones and so over tired they can barely stand. I truly believe this is why our babies/kids are so darn adorable, because if they weren't we would eat them and go back to sleep. It's times like these when their little smiles or cute sayings go along way.
Here is my support for all you parents out there reading this! We need to support each other to make it through the tough years...although with two girls I have a feeling these are the easy years and the teenage ones will be tough - so talk to me in 10 years.
Posts
1 comments:
I love it! And it's so true- why do we keep chasing this idea of perfecting motherhood that we have somehow created for ourselves? I certainly didn't have kids so I could become a better crafter or manage to out-mom everyone I meet. None of those things matter- it's the love that matters.
Thanks for sharing!
Post a Comment